Becoming the Woman I Needed at 30 — Now at 40. Starting Over at 40.

If you had told my 30-year-old self that I’d be starting over at 40 — broke, brave, and holding onto faith by a thread — I probably would’ve laughed… or cried… or both. At 30, I had a plan. You know, the kind with color-coded sticky notes, vision boards, and the illusion of control. I thought life would be linear: work hard, love deeply, and everything will somehow make sense.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t go that way.

Life has a funny sense of humor — the kind that doesn’t always make you laugh at first. Somewhere between heartbreak, loss, motherhood, and bills that don’t care about your emotional growth, I realized that starting over wasn’t a setback. It was an invitation.

🌿 Starting Over Without the Instagram Filter

Let’s be honest — “starting over” sounds cute on social media. People post their glow-ups and success stories, but rarely the 3 a.m. tears, the ramen noodle dinners, or the quiet prayers whispered into the ceiling.

My version of starting over came with fear, grief, and a lot of uncertainty. But it also came with grace. God doesn’t waste a single broken piece of our story. He uses them — all of them — to rebuild something sturdier than before.

I’m learning that starting over at 40 doesn’t mean chasing who I was. It means becoming who I was always meant to be — the woman who’s softer where she used to be sharp, braver where she used to be fearful, and kinder to herself than she’s ever been.

💡 Choosing Purpose Over Perfection

In my 30s, I wanted everything to look right. My home, my family, my career — I was chasing perfection like it was a reward for doing life “correctly.”

Now? I chase peace.

These days, I care less about matching throw pillows and more about making sure my soul feels at home. I’ve learned that purpose doesn’t come wrapped in perfection — it comes through surrender.

God has a way of humbling our plans just enough to remind us whose really steering the ship. And honestly, I’m okay being the passenger now. I’ve tried being the captain — and let’s say, that ship hit a few metaphorical icebergs.

❤️ The Quiet Power of Beginning Again

Starting over at 40 isn’t loud. It’s quiet and sacred. It’s in the mornings when I pour coffee into the same chipped mug and whisper, “Okay, God, one more try.” It’s in the moments I choose to show up for my kids, my work, and myself — even when life still feels fragile around the edges.

The woman I needed at 30 wasn’t someone who had it all together. She was someone who believed that brokenness wasn’t the end of her story. And that’s exactly who I’m becoming.

So here I am — brave, broke (in more ways than one), and starting over with faith, humor, and a little more wisdom. My story might not look like I imagined, but it’s mine. And that, I’ve learned, is more than enough.